I don’t think it’s accurate to call this recipe a cocktail, but here you have it…
“Acedia Priest” (alternatively named “Acedia Monk,” “Acedia Poet,” or “Acedia Academic”)
1 glass of club soda poured over ice
Then, go for nice long walk (or chop some wood).
1 empty glass
Fill with whatever alcohol you have in the house.
Drink it alone in a dark room or surf the internet until you reach maximal self-nausea.